STAR WARS MEETS DIVADOMS ~ Flash Me Monday!

August 18, 2008 at 5:56 pm | Category: blog

Okay!  It took a bit.  As you’ve probably already noticed, there have been some technical difficulties the past few days.  But my fabulous web designer, Liz Bemis, worked tirelessly to get them fixed and here we are!  Back in business.

So, without further delay, enjoy the winner if the first ever Flash Me Monday!  A special thanks to all the Romance Divas who’s cameos really make this story. 

STAR WARS MEETS DIVADOMS

By: Inez Kelley

The crash knocked him senseless and he lay in a fog of swirling grayness for an eternity before a sweet sound penetrated the confusion. His first conscious thought was a memory of what travesty had occurred. Chewbacca had traveled far from home thanks to a wormhole’s gravitational pull during an accidental course change gone wrong. Basically, he got his Millennium Falcon sucked by fate and blown by destiny.

Through the pain-riddled sensations racking his body, he found himself surrounded by alien beings on a strange planet. Here the women were obsessed with removing body hair, chocolate and something called shoes. They called themselves Divas. The word meant nothing to him but its melodic tone soothed him, eased his mind and he relaxed with no fear. Big furry mistake.

Certain of these women known as Moderators seized him and dragged his hulking bruised body to a places deep in their depths referred to as The Mod Room. Even the high-pitched sound of it chilled his blood. Oh the torture he suffered. They poked, they stroked, they cut and plucked. Bellowing for mercy, they frowned at him and mumbled softly through too-pink lips. What was a man-titty and why did they look at him so hotly?

After several exhausting days with an electrolysis machine, he was allowed to rest. Then a Diva named Jax appeared, frightening him once more. Had she painted her body black? How else could her skin shimmer with such tightly wrapped curves? And in her hand, what was that thing she carried? The massive raw-skinned creature whimpered in fear. But a gentle smile urged him to response and soon he discovered the first delight of this baffling world. The goodness was chocolate. At last, a gift of sweetness!

When they judged their work complete, Chewie was shoved into their realm, the center ring bearing the name CHIT-CHAT and all there gasped. He wanted to cower in shame but soon discovered their strange tongues were making approving sounds so he stood tall and proud, basking in his height. He’d emerged a huge god-like hunk of man meat the likes they had never seen. He assumed this was a good thing as one Diva named Bria fainted at his feet.

While still coping with his inability to communicate, two other Divas Lauren Murphy and Leigh Royals worked him into a mouth foaming frenzy with their slow strip teases. Such sensual creatures existed nowhere in the galaxy like these tormenters of flesh. When his space woody could handle no more, in came two stunning examples of womanhood. Feisty did nasty things to his newly bare body while MamaD stood ready with a cracking whip, awaiting a countdown.

On the verge of his first stellar orgasm for all of Divadom to witness, he spied with his alien eyes a mind-boggling and throat clenching sight. It was Diva Darth Dana! Shock and terror gripped him. Here, in this land of nubile vixens was the female embodiment of his enemy, the Dark Lord of All. Too much for his overworked and over stimulated system, Chewie collapsed in a huge puddle of oozing, wookie-shorn fright and sexual frustration.

Never fear, there was yet another Diva to save the day and his abused alienhood. Diva Lanie simply scooped up the now limp form and hauled him to the secret corners of the chat room. There she spent days and nights teaching him things like crt+v and smilie codes. Still unable to speak, Chewie now understood the inner-workings of the wholly-foreign female Diva mind. The intricacies were puzzling but he explored each multi-faceted dimension, never admitting his secret fear of the evil Diva Darth Dana.

Empowered, he wrote and published his first Fantasy Space Romance aimed towards the PCOS cursed, fuzz-blessed among us. He scored an agent and a publishing deal in a flat week and ended up doing Oprah tours with George Clooney. Wormholes and women should never be mixed but Divas and Wookies are a match made in Fantasy.

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