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An Author’s Brush with Writer’s BlockAugust 30, 2008 at 11:06 am | Category: blog Hi, my name is Shelby Reed, and I’m a recovering victim of Writer’s Block. The contributors at Wikipedia describe this agonizing condition as “…a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity” (See Writer’s Block by Wikipedia contributors, Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Writer%27s block&oldid=234289848 ) The page goes on to discuss potential causes of Writer’s Block, citing possibilities such as anxiety, depression, etc., giving examples of famous authors who have suffered the malady, and a juicy list of strategies for overcoming it. All of it food for thought to the author enduring what I’ve come to think of as The Blank Page Syndrome. In other words, if you want to research Writer’s Block and various cures, a plethora of information and effective exercises exist all over the Internet and on bookstore shelves. Undertaking such research made me feel I was being proactive when this condition first grabbed hold of my muse and choked the living daylights out of her. In the end, though, I only came away with a few new organizational skills and the burning sense that if all the suggested exercises, schedules, day trips to jog my creative mind, and other remedies weren’t working well enough to shake even a single paragraph from my pen, obviously something was trying to tell me I wasn’t meant to be a writer. So why, even after purportedly “accepting” this destiny, did I continue to think about writing every day, and grieving for its loss so deeply it felt like the heartbreak of my life? And worse, if I wasn’t meant to be a writer after publishing multiple novels, what the hell was I? Before I tell you how I began to heal after three-plus years of no production, I’d like to post a disclaimer. As the various articles tell us, Writer’s Block has a million different causes and cures. And it’s possible I haven’t plumbed the depths of my own condition deeply enough quite yet, so even though I’m approaching “remission,” I am by no means home free. Nor am I certain that writing will ever feel the same. The experience changes as we do, and accepting this inevitability is my latest goal. I’ll not hesitate to admit I’ve been treated for depression. Even worse, I suffer from debilitating migraine headaches, so it’s likely I’m a brain-chemistry mess. I’d like to think that’s part of my charm–but at the very least, I’ve chosen to regard it asa blessing to my writing, especially when it comes to digging down deep, deep to the darkest layers of the human psyche. Sometimes I feel I have a secret tunnel that leads me there, and I drag my characters along with me, and my readers too. (They seem to like it!) But three years ago, when my antidepressant/migraine medication quit working and my doctor changed the drug to one with an excellent reputation, the creative process stopped cold for me. I panicked. I was relatively new on the publishing scene, just beginning to build a reputation in the reader world, and all of a sudden, the words inside me went silent. Soon I began to drift from the writing community…I abandoned my critique group, I stopped reading, and I watched my talented friends rise to further publishing success without me…and I didn’t know why any of it was happening. Unbelievably, I didn’t consider it might be the medication causing my inability to put words on the page. I did know, though, that this incapacity was aggravating my depression, but I felt helpless. No one answer seemed to fit the problem–not even blaming myself. Last December, when I expressed my feelings of despair to my doctor, he decided to change my medication to something brand-spankin’-new and supposedly more effective. A little bell went off in my head. I asked him if the old medicine had any side effects, like oh, say, interfering with the creative part of the brain? He cheerfully confirmed it. And I walked out of that office a new person, because at last I understood I hadn’t chosen, on some subconscious, self-sabotaging level, to throw my writing career to the wind. The medication had been a definite culprit. Maybe there was hope. Within a couple of weeks of changing prescriptions, I began writing the sequel to my Ellora’s Cave paranormal romance, Midnight Rose, and in July 2008, I finished what had affectionately been known as “Jude’s Story,” and gave it a real title: Dark Heaven. It’s currently in my (incredibly patient doesn’t even begin to describe her) agent’s hands, and I’m awaiting her feedback with great anticipation. More than that, I’m anxious to hear what readers will think of it, because Dark Heaven isn’t like anything I’ve written before. Three-plus years of mausoleum-like silence gave the darkness plenty of time to build, and these characters touch a place I haven’t previously explored. Like I said before, I’m not totally out of the woods. I’m currently banging my head against the keyboard, trying to decide what to write next, and perhaps only a stern dose of “sit your butt in the chair and get to work” will start the ball rolling. But I’d like to advise the many writers and artists out there who are stuck and hard-pressed for answers to explore physiological avenues as well as emotional ones. Don’t lose years swimming aimlessly in a sea of frustration and grief. Coming off medication to treat chronic illness may not be an option–it isn’t for me. But at least address the issue of side-effects with your doctor. As for me, I only know one thing for certain. Blocked or not, I am a writer. It’s not up to the universe to decide that. It’s not up to some elusive muse, either. It’s up to me. |
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On August 30th, 2008 at 11:27 am, Dandy said:
Writer’s block??? I know were you are coming from. But you will get past it. I know you will. Thanks for the sharing your story with everyone. I can’t wait to read what you finish next.
Dandy
On August 30th, 2008 at 12:04 pm, Theresa Ragan said:
Hi Shelby, wow, what a journey you have been on. I hope your agent LOVES your new book. It sounds like a story you’ve put your everything into. Interesting that the medication was affecting your creative process… I have high hopes that you’ll be clacking away at the keyboard soon as you write your next best seller! Hugs!
On August 30th, 2008 at 12:13 pm, Carolinel said:
Hi Shelbs~ Being relatively new to our little writing group WIP (Writers in Pajamas) I wasn’t aware of your writing history. I think this was an excellent blog and will help many people drifting in the same frustrating boat (me)!! I’m thrilled. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! A while back I just stopped writing, except for polishing what I already had down on paper, entering contests, critiquing. And, just like you, I had recently started an antidepressant. I’m making an appointment on Monday and rushing back to see Madam Doctor. Thank you for speaking truthfully and helping me and I’ll bet lots of others, too.
Huge Hugs,
You WIP sister,
~Caroline
On August 30th, 2008 at 12:22 pm, Zee said:
Thank you, Shelby Lou! A delicious tingle starts when I realize I’m not alone with my struggles. We are all so much more alike than we are different. Sharing your darkest hours sheds light for others and may even nudge a few more little victories out of our creative souls. Thank you for being vulnerable. Most people never realize that embracing vulnerability is the only way to gain strength. Love you so much! Zee (a sister in the darkness, inching toward the light)
On August 30th, 2008 at 12:44 pm, Janet said:
so glad you’re writing again and dying to know what you’re going to write next.
On August 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm, Shari Boullion said:
Thanks so much for being brave enough to share with us, and we’re all very, very glad you’re back to writing. Can’t wait to see Jude’s story!!!
On August 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm, Gina Ardito said:
The world was silent and lonely without your beautiful words, Shelby. Welcome back into the light and may it continue to shine on you!
On August 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm, Amber Green said:
I’m so glad you had the courage to struggle on through the dark valley, Shelby.
Now, sit your ass down and write!
On August 30th, 2008 at 2:20 pm, Leslie Ann Dennis said:
I, for one, am soooo happy to see my writing buddy emerge from that dark cave. I’ve been there and it ain’t a fun place to be. Welcome back! Your adoring fans (I’m in the front row of clapping my hands) are so happy to have you with again and turning out those wonderful stories!
Great, informative blog!
*HUGS*
Leslie
On August 30th, 2008 at 2:55 pm, Ellie Heller said:
I’m sooo glad you figured this out! However, despite finding out medicine was the primary cause, it sounds like you are still dealing with the emotional scars.
Hugs! I hope these, too, heal and your wonderful prose can again be shared with the world.
On August 30th, 2008 at 3:22 pm, Dawn Brown said:
So happy that you were able to find your way through this, Shelby. You have such talent, and I look forward to reading your next story.
On August 30th, 2008 at 3:32 pm, Katherine Allred said:
As one of the lucky few who have read Dark Heaven, I can honestly say it was worth the three year wait. Thanks so much for sharing it with me. As for the writers block, you know I’ve been right there with you, pal. I’m so thrilled to see you making your way back into the light. The world would be a sorry place without any more Shelby Reed stories in it!
On August 30th, 2008 at 4:45 pm, Katey Coffing, Ph.D. said:
Like Kathy, I can attest that Dark Heaven is worth *every bit* of the wait. And I’m SO GLAD you’re finally getting relief though a better med. That relief was a long time coming, and Dark Heaven is more proof of your capabilities and sheer talent.
I have my fingers crossed for you, my head available for brainstorming, time available for sprints, and hands ready to catch you and tug you back onto the path.
Now…(you know what I’m going to say, right?)…go WTFB
On August 30th, 2008 at 5:42 pm, Fae Sutherland said:
Oh wow, I had the exact same thing happen with the meds I was on several years ago to manage bi-polar. I never did find out which medicine was causing it (though I suspect it was the anti-psychotic or the anti-depressant), all I knew was the muses stopped talking to me when I started on the meds and I couldn’t take it. I sat down with my therapist and informed her either she teach me some coping mechanisms that didn’t include meds or I was going cold turkey off them anyway. Not being able to write for 9 months (I don’t know how you managed for 3 years) was making me crazier than no meds ever could.
3 years later I’m med free and haven’t had a spat of writer’s block since. It’s difficult to manage the bi-polar without meds, but worth the effort when it means I can continue to write.
I’m so glad you figured out what was causing it and that you’re back and raring to go! Congrats!
Fae Sutherland
On August 30th, 2008 at 5:50 pm, Amy Ruttan said:
Thanks for sharing your courageous story!
On August 30th, 2008 at 8:58 pm, Sandra Cormier said:
As a fellow writer who had the privilege of reading parts of Dark Heaven, I can’t wait to see it published. The story reaches down into deepest part of the characters’ souls and wraps around the reader like a blanket of emotion. It’s truly magical.
Shelby, it must have been difficult for you to share such intimate details of your struggle, but your words will bring inspiration to many writers who deal with many forms of creative block – whether caused by depression, lack of support, family crises or simply distraction. We need to sit back and look at our situation with an objective point of view.
Every time I sit at my computer and find myself avoiding writing, I say to myself, “Shelby says I should be writing.”
So I do.
–Chumplet aka Sandra Cormier
On August 31st, 2008 at 1:22 pm, N.J. Walters said:
I’m so glad to hear you’re back writing again. Midnight Rose was a fabulous book. I can’t wait for Dark Heaven.
On August 31st, 2008 at 1:36 pm, Adele Dubois said:
Thank you for sharing your humbling, intimate story. I wish good things for your life and career.
Best–Adele Dubois
On August 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pm, Janet Miller/Cricket Starr said:
Words cannot express how glad I am to hear that you are writing again old critique buddy. It is fabulous news for me and the rest of the writing community that you’ve come back.
These pesky side-effects of medications can be so debilitating. I hope you have great success with Dark Heaven. It can only be a wonderful book if it has your name on it.
Cheers,
Janet Miller/Cricket Starr
On August 31st, 2008 at 11:00 pm, Denise A. Agnew said:
Shelby old buddy! It’s always good to see you around and talk to you. You know how much I missed your stories, and how I couldn’t believe you weren’t writing any more. I am soooo happy to know that you are now and that the creative juices are flowing. You know you’re one of my favorite authors. As for writer’s block, I think mine has reached not quite critical mass a few times in the last three years, but something always sparks me out of it. Plus, in my case, I have to remind myself that actually taking two weeks, maybe even three weeks off between a novel is GOOD for me and helps that creativity like you wouldn’t believe. Hugs, Shelby! It’s great to have you back writing with us.
Denise A. Agnew
On September 1st, 2008 at 12:28 am, Zara Penney said:
Shelbs, Judes story charmed me, and the readers are in for a real treat.
hugs
And don’t forget, with writer’s block… once bitten twice shy.
On September 2nd, 2008 at 12:05 pm, Laurie Breton said:
Shelby, my dear friend, I’m SO glad you’re writing again, so glad you finally finished Jude’s story. Your talent is amazing, and I’m thrilled to know that you’ve made it through that dark place and have come out into the light. I’m in that same dark place right now, for reasons I haven’t yet figured out, and struggling to find the exit door. Your story inspires me, and helps me to know that it’s a temporary condition. Keep on writing, girl. The world needs more of your wonderful stories!
Hugs!
On September 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm, Katie Anderson said:
Shelby,
You share a difficult and painful time with such clarity and beauty. No, the writer never left, she just went into hiding until she could get out again.
Katie
On September 2nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm, Amber Green said:
Fae, I understand your position.
Most writers seem to struggle with depression, to one degree or another. Maybe it’s another symptom of what makes us able to write. The darkness can be debilitating. But not being able to write…that would be like being lobotomized, or castrated. Something crucial would be missing.
On September 2nd, 2008 at 9:43 pm, Sydney Shay said:
I’m so glad to see you’re writing again! Even your blog entry is inspirational. When you see a talented author you admire, and in turn anticipate the next novel, it’s helpful to see that you hit the same writers block as a hopeful, like me.
I can’t wait to read Dark Heaven and I envy the people who got an early peek!
On September 4th, 2008 at 10:04 am, Judith said:
Thanks, sweetie! You’re an inspiration to all of us. Major hugs winging their way to you!
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